


Payback's a Bitch

by cakeisnotpie



Series: Tony and Clint (IronHawk) [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Masturbation, Phone Sex, Voyeurism, comm sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 20:12:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/777537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakeisnotpie/pseuds/cakeisnotpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony doesn't always think things through ... and putting Clint on the other end of the comm line might turn out to be a tactical error. Or some really good sex. Just depends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Payback's a Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> Katya asked for some Tony, Clint, Aaron, and William sex (see "Three's Company, Four's an Orgy") and now I can't get Tony & Clint out of my head. So here they are again, at their snarky, dirty talk best. 
> 
> then something else happened at the end of the story that I really didn't expect. Honestly, authors are not in control of their stories. The muse just does whatever the hell she wants to.

_“Wow, those can’t be real. They could serve as flotation devices for a family of four.”_

Clint’s voice vibrated in Tony’s ear as he put his game face on and greeted Andrea McDougal, trophy wife of the CEO of McDougal Technologies. Yeah, her triple D breasts were absolutely not real, but they were damn fine work. Tony thought about asking for the name of her plastic surgeon – hey, he’d admit to being vain enough to think about it, and, with all the punishment the suit put on his body, he might need it sooner rather than later – but Pepper glared at him, and he stayed with a polite hello and a hand shake. Pepper was getting suspicious; Tony had been on his best behavior tonight except for the occasional bout of talking to himself, at least that’s what it looked like, and all her warning alarms were going off.

It had been his idea to test the new micro-mini comm units. First off, they needed a few dry runs to make sure of the range and clarity, plus he had Jarvis testing the security of the channel off and on during the evening, and a charity event, complete with boring speaker, seemed like a perfect choice of venue. Second, he absolutely hate these things … they bored him to death … and having Clint tossing quips in his ear as he moved about the room was making it all so much more bearable. He’d give Clint the credit for tapping into the hotel’s camera system so he could see what was happening; the man had a wicked sense of humor and could filet people in just a few words. The only problem so far had been keeping his laughter under control; it was harder than he thought to make small talk while Clint was telling him all sorts of facts about the person whose hand he was shaking. While meeting the head spokesman for a local philanthropic group, Clint had filled Tony in on the man’s latest sexapades with prostitutes in Singapore courtesy of SHIELD files. Hard to keep a straight face and talk about helping girls break into the field of math and science when Clint was telling him about a set of photos that went out on twitter just last week.

“Tony,” Pepper said as the woman moved on. “You’re being far too amiable about this. What are you up to?”

“Hey, you asked me to be nice, I’m being nice. Now you’re upset at me for being good?” He nodded at Father Francis ( _“Good guy, runs a baseball league for the local orphanages, you should support it”),_ ignored the fourteenth attempt by Marilyn Beauchamps to get his attention _(“Wow, is that a dead dog around her shoulders? I had dog once, in Manila, from a street vendor. Wasn’t that bad if you don’t mind stringy meat”_ ) and smiled at Barbara Gregory ( _“Whoa there, hold your horses. Back up three people. Who is that? Got to be a model with those cheekbones. Get your ass over there and check it out”_ ).

“I know you Tony. Look, just get through Adam’s speech and you can go, okay? You’ve already signed the check.” Pepper turned towards the ballroom door. “Whatever you’re doing, keep it to a dull roar, please?”

_“Pepper looks lovely today, don’t you think. Green’s a good color on her. Oh, look, that guy agrees with me. See the way he’s giving her the hungry wolf eyes?”_

Tony looked that way and, sure enough, some lothario was checking Pepper out, crossing the room on an intersect course. It didn’t bother him, not at all, because Pepper could handle herself; okay maybe it bothered him just a little, and by the time he admitted that he was bearing down on the guy, bumping into him as he passed.

“Oh, sorry,” Tony said as the man fumbled his drink, spilling some on his suit. “Let me get you another one.”

_“Smooth move, Tony. That’s a pick up line if I’ve ever heard one. Pep will appreciate you moving in on a potential date.”_

“No problem. I should probably stop anyway. Have to go back to work after this.” The man offered his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Stark. Raphael St. Martens. I work with Adam’s foundation.”

“Ah, yes, the man of the hour. More women in the sciences.” Tony’s eyes swept the potential suitor from his expensive haircut right down to his New & Lingwood shoes. Not a do-gooder working for a cause then, but someone who came from old money.

_“Hey, green eyed monsters are Bruce’s territory, remember? Besides, he’s not really your type. He’s more mine. Dark haired, rich playboy. Get his number for me will you?”_

“As a man of science, surely you agree that women aren’t represented enough in the field?” St. Martens’ challenged, and Tony had to admit the man had some fire in his belly.

“Some of the most kick ass women I know are in the sciences; the world could use a few more of them.” Tony gave his best shark smile, the one that ran off all but the strongest of predators.

“What Mr. Stark means is that he fully supports equality of opportunity for girls in education.” Pepper’s smile was much friendlier, maybe too much so for Tony’s comfort. She leaned in and let the other man kiss her on her cheeks. “Rafe, it’s nice to see you again.”

_“Ooooohhh, she likes him. Hey, if she gets married, what happens to …”_

Tony just talked over Clint’s commentary. “I see you’ve met. Well, that’s good. I was feeling uncomfortable there for a second, thinking I was going to have to let you down gently.”

Pepper’s eyes closed then opened again with that long-suffering gaze she had. “You have to forgive Tony, Rafe. He’s living in the middle ages and believes the Earth revolves around him.” She took his offered arm and smiled at Tony. “Shall we go in now?”

_“Ooooooh, burn baby. If it helps, he doesn’t have a criminal record or even a Facebook page. Hey, maybe that’s not his real name! Jarvis, run a facial recognition program.”_

“Shut up, Clint,” Tony muttered under his breath; the communicators were so sensitive he barely had to make a sound. He walked into the ballroom, winding his way through the tables and chairs up to the main podium to take his seat. “You’re supposed to be amusing me, remember?”

_“Right. Seriously Tony, the guy seems completely clean.”_

Unsaid was the fact that Tony didn’t have the right to meddle in Pepper’s life, and she’d made him promise not to. Still, he felt it was his job to protect her from gold diggers – and he knew all about them. That was probably why he was enjoying this thing with Clint so much –no such worries.

 _“Wow, you get to sit right up there in front of everyone? Well, now that is a challenge, isn’t_ _it?”_

“Challenge?” Tony settled in his seat as Pepper stepped up to the podium to introduce Adam.

 _“With all eyes on you, you can’t reply; I can say anything I want to.”_ Clint chuckled.

And there was the downside Tony hadn’t bothered to think about; he really should learn to take the time to examine the various possible outcomes before he jumped into trials. Yeah, no, he’d never bothered in the past, and he probably wouldn’t in the future either.

_“Let’s see … where to start? Ah, yes, I’m sitting in your living room, sipping some Macallan and smoking a very fine Cuban cigar. Would you like to know what I’m watching on your big screen TV?”_

Tony didn’t need to ask; he could hear the distinct sounds of Clint’s favorite show. He was probably watching the early feeds of next week’s episode.

_“You know I’m going to go crazy when we get to the red wedding. I’ll need therapy to get through it, preferably expensive alcohol, buffalo wings and some hot sex.”_

Damn man waited until Tony was chewing a bite of his chicken … why was it always rubbery chicken at these kinds of things? … to announce that. Tony choked a little but covered with a cough, chasing the food down with the white wine the waiter poured into his glass. Adam had started his speech, and Tony hadn’t heard a word of it yet.

_“And speaking of that, you remember the other night? I think Bruce may have seen us.”_

He was just going to have to stop eating or drinking; Clint had perfect timing, just like his aim. For once, Tony’s habit of wearing sunglasses everywhere was going to come in handy; he could hide his reactions behind the darkened lens.

_“He caught me on the way up here and asked when you’d be available. Sweet of him, wasn’t it? Like your calendar has ‘fuck Clint’ and ‘lab time with Bruce’ in neat little boxes. Hey, I bet Pepper’s is like that, all color coded. Think she’ll be willing to put in ‘quick blow job’ between meetings?”_

At least it was Bruce; Natasha would have slipped a knife in his ribs, although Clint was convinced she already knew and was planning her own more subtle form of retribution if anything went wrong between them. Not that either one of them knew what they were doing; since their little escapade through alternate dimensions, they’d been doing this off and on without giving it a name. Tony kind of liked it that way. That and said quick blow jobs certainly put him in a better frame of mind for those long boring meetings.

_“Good thing we still were mostly clothed, and it was Bruce. He’s pretty laid back about that stuff. Can you imagine if it was Steve? Actually, I’m pretty torn between him turning beet red and stammering or getting a hard on and watching.”_

Tony slipped out his phone under the edge of the table and ran a locator program to find the cameras in the room. The one on his left had the best view, so he looked right at it and stared over the top of his sunglasses, trying to send Clint a message to stop it. Because, now the image of Steve Rogers standing with his mouth open and working like fish to find something to say was plastered in his brain.

_“There’s a picture, eh? I can imagine it. You wander out of your lab late one night to get some of the leftover Chinese in the fridge to fuel up and keep going on one of those insane projects you get immersed in, the kind where you make the TV sentient or the lights in the building respond to clapping the rhythm of ‘Smoke on the Water’ …”_

“That would have been cool…” Tony forgot to cover his mouth with his hand to hide his answer; Pepper glared at him from her seat on the other side of the table, and he shrugged at her. He was being good. Really.

_“Anyway, you’d nuke it in the microwave and then I’d wander in, couldn’t sleep like always, in those ratty sweats you seem to enjoy so much, and it would be dark and you’d offer me some of the leftovers; Best way to share would be with my tongue in your mouth, and you’d taste all spice and soy sauce because we always order too many of the hot dishes just to see who can take it. Kissing would lead to leaning and leaning would lead to rubbing and rubbing would take us up against the counter ...”_

Tony cleared his throat and emptied his wine glass; a waiter instantly filled it back up. He knew where Clint was going with this, and part of him … the part that was currently draining all the blood from his head and starting to make its presence known, loudly … thought this was a great idea, a perfect way to pass the time. But then he saw Pepper’s sideways glance, and what little bit of social awareness he had tried to raise an objection, but was quickly overwhelmed by the increasing pressure on his zipper.

 _“Better slow down there, sport. People are going to notice you’ve had two glasses in just a few minutes.”_ Clint laughed. _“Now where did I leave off? Oh, yeah, the countertop. Next, off would come shirts … hell, I don’t even sleep in one, so that just leaves yours … and I’d do that thing with my tongue and the arc reactor that makes you jump until you dropped into your ‘I’m Tony Stark and I give the orders here’ voice and told me to get on with it. That would be the signal to get my hand in your pants – you’d be commando, of course, ‘cause you always want easy accessibility – and you’d be hard and heavy and silky in my palm, and I’d want you in my mouth bad enough to do it right then and there.”_

Every damn word was slamming into his groin, and he could swear he could feel Clint’s callused fingers on his skin, the way he’d drag them down his abs, following what he called the happy trail, twist them around Tony’s cock and trace the outline of …. Was that the sound of a zipper opening?

“ _Damn tile is cold, but you’d be all salty and leaking … you’d fill my whole mouth … and I’d work you until you were just on the edge. Then you’d growl at me … Tony … and we’d go for … the breakfast bar … yeah, just the right height to strip you out of those ass hugging jeans … god I love those jeans …and lay you out, take my time … opening you up and spreading you out … ah, hell … with the tube you keep hidden … god … behind the sugar substitutes … in the cabinet.”_

Damn it. Tony hardly even noticed when the third glass emptied and the fourth replaced it, just that there was a throbbing from his very insistent hard on, and there was no way in hell he could stand up right now without everyone in the room knowing just how bad he had it, listening to Clint’s little moans, the sound of his movements, the rustle of fabric, skin rubbing against skin.

A wave of applause sounded and Tony jerked himself back to the room around him; maybe the damn speech was over, and he could make a quick exit. He politely clapped, joining in way too late for Pepper not to notice, but Adam began talking again and she turned her attention back to him with just a raised eyebrow for Tony.

 _“Smooth, Stark. Distracted much?”_ Clint’s voice was breathy and grew more halting as he talked. _“I know I am.”_ A soft moan exhaled. _“Don’t mind, do you? It’s just that … the thought of you … all slicked up and ready … yeah … that might be … a little … ah … is it hot there?”_

“Fuck,” Tony muttered, using his glass to cover the movement of his mouth. He could picture it, Clint sprawled on his big couch, one hand around his cock, head thrown back, that look of intense concentration on his face Tony was getting to know so well. “You’re going to kill me.”

 _“Fuck. Yep, that’s what we’d do. Right there … oh, god … on the counter. Me, inside you … so tight … so hot … the way you pull me in … fuck, Tony … need … where is it?”_ There was a pause and then Clint’s voice was back. _“Yes. Have I told you … how much I appreciate all the secret hiding places you have for lube?”_ A throaty laugh that turned into a moan. _“Where were we? … shit … Right. Counter. Kitchen. Me. You. Buried so deep … ass to balls … and then he’d come in … just stand there … Steve Fucking Rogers … fuck, fuck, fuck, Tony … and we’d go all still … and … can’t stop … god, I’m going to … you’d say something … snarky … and his eyes would go all wide … and … and…”_

Clint groaned Tony’s name as he came, and Tony dragged his napkin securely across his straining erection, trying to hide beneath the tablecloth; he was so damn near embarrassing himself that he had to clamp his mouth shut and breath through his nose to stop himself from following Clint. The only thing Tony could do was look out at the audience, try to find something to focus on that didn’t do it for him – a priest or an older grandmother type or someone who looked like Howard.

“You done?” he asked, realizing that he had gone through five glasses of wine as they’d talked, feeling a little lightheaded and not quite in control – but that could just as easily be his body demanding he do something about his throbbing dick.

 _“Was it good for you too?”_ Shifting and then Clint’s voice was back, stronger. _“Want to make a bet? I think Steve would pull a major boner if he walked in on us. I’ll wager … hmmmm … a blow job while you’re in the suit.”_

“Jesus, Clint,” Tony’s voice was drowned out by the thunderous applause as Adam finally finished, but Tony knew Clint could hear him. “You’re almost as kinky as me.”

 _“Looks like the first round is done. How much more do you have to sit through?”_ Clint was still breathing heavily.

Tony stood, tugging his jacket down to try and hide little tony’s obvious presence; Pepper didn’t miss it but he’d long since given up keeping his sexual proclivities from her. She’d probably figure out what was going on anyway. He shook Adam’s hand, then motioned to her, mouthing, “Got to go.” She nodded; he’d lived up to his end of the bargain. Turning, he put his back to the audience and headed for an exit behind the podium.

“You miscalculated. I’m done.” He sent a text to Happy for pick up as he hit the double doors and took off down the corridor. “Jarvis will clear the lights for me; ETA twelve to fifteen minutes. You better be ready. Soon as I get there, I’m going to bend you over that couch and fuck you so hard Tyrion Lannister would be proud.”

 _“Um, I need a few more minutes than that; sorry to say, but twice in a quarter of an hour might not be doable anymore.”_ Despite his protestations, Clint sounded more than a little aroused.

“I’ll talk you back up on the way with all the details of what I’m planning for you. And don’t worry, I know how to handle toppy bottoms.”

_“Tony.”_

“Three words, Clint. Payback’s a bitch.”

* * *

 

She thumbed the communicator off before she ran her hands over his smooth chest, fingers tracing the pattern of his taut abs, skimming the elastic waist band of his boxers and harder along the smooth ridge of his erection. “Liked that, didn’t you? Who would have thought? Steve Rogers, voyeur.”

“Someone once warned me to be careful or a woman can lead you to ruin.” Steve turned his head and kissed her; he loved her red lips and the taste of her mouth. Winding a hand through her curls, he pulled her in closer, tongue slipping inside.

Walking around the couch, she climbed onto his lap, straddling him, wearing nothing but one of his grey non-descript t-shirts; she knew how much that turned him on. The hem bunched up, revealing a flash of red hair between her legs as she settled onto him, rocking lightly, making him groan. “Ha,” she said. “It was all your idea in the first place. And Tony should take the bet; I happen to know Clint has a real fetish for the damn suit.”

“Tasha,” Steve loved saying her name in all its endless variations. He loved her, but he couldn’t say it. Too soon, too early, too much baggage. “That would be interesting, don’t you think?”

He spanned her waist with his hands, gliding up until he was cupping her breasts. She smiled at him then, the one he so rarely saw outside this room, where they were just Steve and Nat, nothing more, no pasts, no history or hang ups, just two people who shared a passion. “If you want to watch, I have an understanding with Jarvis.”

“You blackmailed our butler?” Steve was never sure if she was serious about the things she said. He’d learned she had a wickedly dry sense of humor.

“Just a matter of the right leverage. And, for the record, what would you do if you walked in on them?” Gorgeous green eyes sparkled; she enjoyed seeing how far she could push him. And he knew he constantly surprised her with what he was more than willing to say or do.

“Ask them if they wanted to join us.” Eyes widened then she smacked him on the arm, none too lightly, not pulling her punch. With an economy of motion, he caught her and twisted until she was beneath him on the couch; her hands ran through his hair, messing it up even more than it already was. “Could be interesting.”

“Everything is interesting to you.” She didn’t complain when he nipped at her neck, kissing the skin where his shirt hung off one shoulder. “Know what I find interesting? Clint and Tony think this is a casual thing, like fuck buddies or something.”

He lifted back up and looked at her. “And it isn’t?”

She shook her head. “Hawks mate for life, you know. Black Widows, on the other hand, kill their mates.” It was her way of reminding him that she didn’t think herself capable of more than just sex. Well, he had his own ideas about that.

“It should be fun watching them figure it out, then.” 

Steve let it drop, turning his attention to finding just the right bit of skin to hear that little noise she made which drove him crazy. He had time. Lots of time. And he knew a thing or two about waiting for the right girl now, didn’t he?

 

 

 


End file.
